I was obese. I dieted for years - losing weight and gaining it back. My patterns of behavior around food, which were established in my childhood, were habitual. Interrupting the patterns that had been ingrained and reinforced for decades was challenging, but I knew that I did not want my kids to struggle with childhood obesity as a result of my unhealthy habits. Based on my personal experience, coupled with my professional work coaching obese adults through my weight release program, I have outlined five factors for parents to consider that effect eating patterns. I believe that addressing these five factors can help establish healthy eating habits for life and prevent childhood obesity.
Consistency and Childhood Obesity: Kids thrive on routines. Parents who consistently provide scheduled meals and snacks are helping to support long term healthy eating habits. Childhood obesity can be a result of inconsistent meal times which often prompt children to overeat unconsciously. When kids are not sure when their next meal will come they often tend to "gorge" or "graze". Both gorging and grazing are very unhealthy patterns where children eat a lot of food at one time or are constantly eating over an extended period of time. These patterns don't always show up as weight gain in active children, but will usually cause weight problems in adulthood. It is critical that parents are consistent in the types of foods they provide and the times at which meals and snacks are served.
Family Meals and Childhood Obesity: For working families with hectic schedules consistently sitting down to a family meal can be quite challenging. Mornings can be stressful and the idea of everyone sitting down together to share breakfast may seem preposterous. At night parents are tired and it is easy to just let the kids eat in front of the television. However, family meals are important for emotional health and well-being. A calm and nurturing family meal provides support and connection between family members. I strongly recommend that families eliminate distractions, such as television, video games, reading material or toys at the table. Set a positive tone by expressing gratitude or saying grace before the meal and engage in positive conversation.
Dieting and Childhood Obesity: When children struggle with weight the last thing that you want to do is put them on a diet. Do not emphasize the "problem" - compassionately acknowledge it, but don't focus on it. The entire family must modify their behavior and change their eating patterns. Even if some members of the family are thin, it is important to make adjustments so that everyone is eating healthier. Introduce the adjustments incrementally and make the focus on "health" - never make it about "sacrificing to help the overweight child".
Moderation and Balance: Healthy eating must include sweets and treats. You never want kids to feel as if they are being deprived. When children feel deprived they often binge whenever unhealthy food is available. Unhealthy foods in moderation are very appropriate. In my family we even let our kids overindulge once in awhile. For example, on Halloween we let the kids eat as much candy as they want - then allow them to pick one piece after dinner until the candy is gone. Allowing occasional overeating can be beneficial because it teaches self-regulation, which is very important for healthy long term eating habits.
Focusing on Fun: With my adult clients, I work to help them choose physical activity that it is fun, enjoyable, and fulfilling. These guidelines should apply to physical activity for families, as well. Be wary of only playing competitive games, which can end up being "no fun". A significant number of my overweight adult clients associate physical activity with competitive sports - which unconsciously triggers fear of failure or incompetence. While competitive sports offer important lessons in teamwork, commitment, etc., children must also experience regular non-competitive physical activity. I strongly advocate active family time - such as bike riding, hiking, swimming, flying kites, etc.
Finding Fulfillment and Childhood Obesity: For most of my adult clients food has become a way to cope with stress, anxiety, fear, loneliness, sadness, and grief. They have been trying to "fill up" an emotional void in their lives by eating. I believe that there is one question, the answer to which can be the foundation for permanently changing unhealthy patterns of behavior around food: What really feeds you? America has lost touch with the quality of experience that truly fulfills us. We have gotten distracted by the images of success and beauty that we see projected on TV screens, billboards, and magazines. We are trying to fill ourselves from the outside rather than from the inside. Children need to know that they are loved exactly how they are - whether they win the game or lose the game, no matter what size they are, regardless of whether they fit in with the "cool crowd". When a child gets love and encouragement, when they feel successful and supported, they will be far less likely to turn to food as a "filler".
In Chinese writing there are two characters that are used to represent the word "crisis" - alone the first character means "danger" while the second character means "opportunity". This country may be on a dangerous path, but I believe that this obesity crisis is a wonderful opportunity to reclaim what really matters. This is not simply a health crisis. This is a family crisis, an emotional crisis and even a spiritual crisis. No political slogans or government programs are going to fix what is broken - this is an inside job. We need to personalize this issue and begin taking responsibility for the choices in our lives.
For more free resources to help examine the deeper causes of weight related issues visit weight release resource
Remember: Weight related issues are almost always about more than just the amount of food we eat or the amount of exercise we get. The key to sustainable weight release is to examine the "why" behind the choices we make and our relationship with food and our bodies.
